


Five times Sirius nearly finds out, and the one time he does

by LittleBozSheep



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Boarding School, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gender Related, Happy Ending, Hogwarts Sixth Year, I think there's swear words, Idiots in Love, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), New Student, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Silly Boys, Slow Burn, Swearing, Trans Remus Lupin, Well muggle version of sixth year, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23243431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBozSheep/pseuds/LittleBozSheep
Summary: When Remus starts at his new school he's put in the boy’s dormitory and he's scared that his roommates will find out his secret. The situation is made worse when one roommate, Sirius, quickly starts to dote on him, never leaving him alone.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 454
Collections: HP TransFest 2020





	Five times Sirius nearly finds out, and the one time he does

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the lovely Trans Fest, It was really fun writing and taking part in it. 
> 
> This is the lovely prompt;  
> Fic: Remus/Sirius  
> Prompt: Remus is the new kid at the school and he's put in the boy’s dormitory.  
> He's scared that his roommates will find out his secret.  
> Sirius quickly dotes on the quiet, swotty, nerd that barges into his life because he swears he's in love at first sight.  
> They do find out about Remus being trans and accept him fully.  
> Likes: Lots of cuddling and touching. Slow burn. Muggle AU
> 
> I want to say a huge thank you to [HouseOfMalfoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/pseuds/Houseofmalfoy) for reading through this. And [BookOfSpells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookofSpells/pseuds/BookofSpells) & [Everyoneinspaceisgay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyoneinspaceisgay/pseuds/everyoneinspaceisgay) for being amazing Beta’s & answering all my many questions <3
> 
> Warning-ish:  
> There is a very brief mention to Sirius’ past in the fic, it’s not explained or expanded on just stated in one sentence & follows cannon.

* * *

  1. **The New Boy**



Four beds in the room, one free. 

_ ‘He could do this, it'd be fine, he’d be fine,’  _ Remus muttered to himself as he approached the spare bed, dragging his suitcase behind him. Sure, he was joining the school five years later than the others and now was sharing a room with three strangers, but he would be  _ fine. _ He’s survived harder trials. 

Dropping his suitcase at the bottom of the bed, he surveyed the room. It was cleaner than he had expected for a boys dorm, with only a few random items scattered around, none of which helped paint a picture of his possible roommates. 

_ ‘Roommates, in my room, my own room.’ _ Remus nearly laughed, he was finally in a place where he could be himself. Noone here knew him from before, so there would be no questions or judgement. Just Remus being Remus. 

Standing in the boy’s dorm felt so natural and terrifying at the same time. All the years of thinking and dreaming... Now, the reality was suddenly a lot scarier. The idea was not helping Remus’s stress levels so he decided to get to work, making the bed at the top of the list. After all, how hard can making a bed be? His mum had even gotten him fancy fitted sheets. 

Remus had not survived this long to be defeated by a bottom sheet. While he didn’t know how long it had been, Remus did know his stress levels weren’t going down. He clambered on the bed, determined he’d get all four corners to stay on the mattress. Remus tried to hold one corner down with his foot, another with his arm, as he attempted to wrestle the third corner on without any of the others pinging off. Fully focusing on the task at hand, he didn’t hear anyone approach.

“Fresh Blood!” A voice dramatically sang. Catching Remus unaware, as he jumped out his skin tumbling off the bed onto the floor. Catching his breath, Remus untangled himself from the sheet that he’d taken with him before he stood up. Spotting the two boys stood in the doorway, one was elbowed by the other as he whispered.

Both were dressed in the school uniform with their Gryffindor-Red ties pulled loose. The first boy was still standing with his hand on the door handle, frozen partway through the door. As he angry whispered to the other behind him. He was slim, with a thin face and rounded glasses; His hazel eyes, a complete contrast to his black hair that was currently sticking out at different angles. 

"Welcome to Hell!" The same voice from before spoke when the pair noticed Remus watching them. He was the slightly taller of the two, with long jet black hair falling just past his shoulders, olive skin, and sharp features; which reminded Remus of a god. The boy was easily the most attractive person Remus had met so far, well, he would be if it wasn’t for the almost demonic smile he was wearing while rubbing his hands together, staring directly at Remus. 

“Shut it Padfoot,” The other boy argued, rolling his eyes and whacking the so-called ‘Padfoot’ on the head. Within a flash, the demonic look had disappeared, replaced with a childish pouting look, complete with knitted eyebrows. 

_ ‘Well, now he’s even more attractive,’ _ flashed through Remus’s mind. 

The other boy, however, completely missed the look, having already turned back to Remus and was walking into the room, “Please ignore him, he's harmless just..." the boy paused looking this Padfoot up and down trying to pick his next work, "Stupid,” the boy finally settled on with a shrug. 

“I ain’t stupid,” The god said approaching them, still rubbing his head. There was something in the way he walked, it gave Remus the impression that not only did the boy have the looks of the gods but also the self-confidence to match. 

“I’m James," James said with a wave, then throwing a thumb over his shoulder, "This here is Sirius, but despite his name nothing about him is serious.” 

“Hey!” Sirius argued, pouting like a child that was being ignored as he stood at James’ shoulder. 

So Sirius was his real name. Remus would have to remember to question the entire ‘Padfoot’ part later, and try to squish down the god nickname he had subconsciously given Sirius before it took root. 

_ ‘Well it’s now or never’ _ Remus thought. Taking a deep breath, “Remus,” He nodded and smiled. James easily returned his smile. 

Which is when he noticed Sirius staring wide-eyed at him, watching every move with an unreadable expression. Suddenly Remus felt extremely self-conscious as if the other was looking into his soul. Thinking he needed to do something, anything to get the attention off him, Remus stuck out his hand, offering Sirius a handshake. Sirius clicked his head to the side briefly, surprise covered his face.

“Nu-uh, I’m a hugger!” Sirius laughed, shaking his head. Engulfing Remus in a face splitting smile, the type that caused Remus' heart to skip a beat. Still dazzled by the smile, Remus hadn’t noticed Sirius move until he was pulled into a big bear hug. Lifting his arms to return the hug, he felt Sirius tighten his arms. It was a strong, cuddly hug that warmed Remus to the core. That was until Sirius froze, his body locking still. Remus could feel his heart rate increasing in his chest, starting to worry why Sirius would just randomly freeze. The silence from the other is not helping.

_ How? I’ve been here for 5 minutes and I’ve already outed myself, _ shot through Remus’s mind. 

“You!” Sirius said as he suddenly lent back. Looking Remus in the eye, hands lightly gripping onto his forearms. 

Holding his breath, Remus’s brain struggled to process everything that had happened. They were hugging, that’s all. How could he find anything out from just hugging? He couldn’t, The rational part of his brain tried arguing. It felt like an internally before Sirius finished studying his face, and spoke again. “You smell amazing!” He said before leaning forwards and sticking his nose into the crook of Remus’s neck, sniffing strongly. 

“Wha?” Remus found himself rooted to the spot. Even Sirius' warm breath skipping across his neck didn’t help end his confusion.

“Down, Padfoot Down!” James hissed. When he started to spray something over the pair. Within seconds Sirius jumped out his skin and dived behind Remus, attempting to use him as a human barrier. 

“He’s like a leech, will grip onto you and not let go,” James said, continuing to try and spray Sirius, only stopping when the other was fully hidden behind Remus. "Ahh sorry, it’s just water," James awkwardly commented when he noticed Remus wiping his face with his sleeve.

"You should be—ah!" Sirius retreated back behind Remus as James lifted the spray can up again, sending more liquid towards the other.

“Oh, No no no no! Don’t misuse my misting spray!” A fourth guy joined them, racing over to James and grabbing the can and holding it to his chest. 

“Wormtail, this is Remus, our new roommate.” James pointed to Remus, who was standing a bit overwhelmed by the entire event. Especially with Sirius pressed up against his back, sending James what sounded like a growl over this shoulder.

_ So, these are my new roommates, _ Remus thought.  _ And to think, I haven’t even started classes yet, this year is going to be fun. _ He shook his head, deciding he’d try and process everything later. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

  1. **The Breakfast Questionnaire**



They were at breakfast in the Great Hall. Sirius, as usual, was sitting next to Remus, having decided early on he was going to be Remus's new best friend; which apparently meant never leaving his side. James had been right with his leech comment that first night. 

“So how are you finding Hogwarts, Remus?” Frank Longbottom questioned from across the table. 

“It’s good,” Remus nodded. Looking around, “Big,” he muttered. If he was to sum it up in one word, that would be it. Reflecting on the past few days, it felt like he was never going to get to grips with the place. 

“Tell me about it. I’ve been here since first year and I still haven’t been to half the building!” Frank laughed. 

"Why would you need to go to the rest of the school when the coolest people are here?" Sirius waved a hand around the table. 

"Speaking of annoying people, how are you finding rooming with these idiots?" Frank commented jokingly, sticking his tongue out at Sirius. 

“The rooms are nicer than the other houses I originally looked at,” Remus started, pausing to look Sirius up and down. “The roommates themselves could be improved.” He shrugged, pulling a face as Sirius loudly scoffed offended. 

“Other Houses? So, you were looking at Hufflepuff?” Frank continued completely blanking Sirius. Much to Sirius’s annoyance, who had given up the offended look and moved straight to hurt. 

“Ravenclaw,” Remus automatically replied. His mind flicked back to the conversations he used to have with his parents. When he was still in primary school and thought he'd be joining Hogwarts in first year with everyone else, not continuing homeschooling and joining the sixth year instead. If he was honest, Remus had thought he’d completely miss all of Hogwarts and continue homeschooling however when his dad’s work transfer came through, his mum had jumped at the chance for Remus to go, stating words like ‘once in a lifetime’ and ‘self-growth’. 

Sirius’s laugh brought him back, “Ravenclaw? But that’s the girl’s dorm.” He chuckled at the idea, poking Remus in the side. 

“Yer,” Remus slowly said, realising his mistake and how he nearly outed himself. His heartbeat was already increasing, echoing in his eardrums. He started to wonder if anyone else had picked up on his slip up,  _ would they be able to work it out from just that? _ . Remus tried to come up with a way to explain what he’d said, preparing for the comments or remarks, however, they never came. Instead, he found James butting in, cutting off anything Sirius was about to say.

“I’d love to be in Ravenclaw.” James hummed, between mouthfuls of his food. Staring behind Remus and across the room to the Ravenclaw table. 

Remus could cry, so thankful that James had changed the topic. He was struggling to come up with any intelligent sentences. His brain was too conscious of all the students around them, and the fear of how his roommates would react. 

“Only because Lily is there.” Sirius snorted into his drink. He tapped Remus on the shoulder telling him to look behind, “That red-head over there, James is in love with her, he’s always following her into the Ravenclaw common room.” Sirius lent into Remus personal space pointing out a laughing girl. 

“I, I am not following her in,” Jame stuttered, shooting a look around to see if anyone was listening. “We are science partners, working on our project,” He tried to explain, falling over his words in the process. It was the first time Remus had seen the other so flustered. 

“Yer, science,” Sirius mocked, using his fingers to make air quotes grinning towards James the whole time.

“If you wanna move to Ravenclaw I’ll join you.” James turned his attention to Remus, sending Sirius to look before continuing. “The sofa in their common room is like cotton candy,” he said, a dreamlike glaze covered his eyes, as he turned his attention back across the room, continuing to eat mindlessly.

"He's so in love," Remus whispered, as he leant back, unsurprised to find Sirius centimeters away from him. 

"Yep," Sirius agreed. 

When he didn't continue something struck Remus as odd. He only had to look at Sirius for a few seconds to see the mischievous glint in his eyes. 

"What have you done?" Remus questioned, having learnt the meaning behind several of Sirius’ looks already. 

James yelling grabbed his attention before Sirius could reply.

"Padfoot you arsehat!" James shouted, grabbing the room's attention as he downed Peter's apple juice.

"Mr Potter!" Their house head, Professor McGonagall called from the teacher’s table at the front of the hall.

"He put salt in my tea!" James argued back. 

"Oh did I mix those up again?" Sirius innocently hummed. Playing with a label as he fluttered his eyelashes. 

"Detention, the pair of you," Professor McGonagall appeared right next to the table, causing the entire group to jump. 

  
  
  


* * *

  1. **Blast from the past**



Walking down the corridor, Sirius as usual stuck to Remus’ side, arm slung over his shoulder while they debated which superhero was the best with James and Peter. Deep in their conversation, no-one noticed the other human until they bounced out in front of the group, blocking the corridor. 

“HELLO STRANGER!” The girl shouted causing everyone to jump out their skin. 

While the group caught their breath, they looked at the stranger who was smugly smiling, hands-on her hips, as amusement bounced around in her eyes. Strands of purple hair had fallen out of her ponytail, wearing a different school’s uniform. 

“What are you doing here?” Remus finally broke the silence, his eyes going wide. Stepping out of Sirius' grip, Remus wrapped the girl in a hug, lifting her from the ground, as the pair started to laugh. 

The remaining boys shared a look, complete confusion over who this person was. They silently asked each other if they knew, the answer was no.

Still laughing the pair broke apart. 

“Our basketball team is here to show your school how shit you are,” She laughed nudging Remus with her elbow, “Thought I’d surprise you!” 

Remus went to reply however was cut off by Sirius breaking into their moment.

“And you would be?” Sirius lifted an eyebrow, as he looked the girl up and down with a disapproving look.

“Excuse me?” The girl questioned, turning her attention to the group.

“Who are you?” Sirius slowly repeated his words.

“Jealous pants,” James said under his breath and rolled his eyes. 

“Tonks,” Tonks slowly replied, shocked by the icy comments that had caught her off guard. The smile falling from her face the longer she looked at Sirius.

“Never heard of you.” Sirius huffed with a shrug of his shoulders.

“For your information, me and Reb-” Tonks cut herself off, as she shot an apologising look at Remus before quickly continuing, “Remus grew up together, I’m his best friend, and he’s never mentioned you.” Tonks crossed her arms, this time looking Sirius up and down.

Sirius scoffed. “Best friend and you don’t know his name.” 

“I mean, Remus has told me all about James, and Peter,” Tonks continued, looking at each in turn with a smile and wave which they returned. Before turning back to Sirius. “But you...” she stepped back and looked him up and down again, “Nope no mention whatsoever.” Tonks shrugged. 

Sirius meanwhile was pinching his eyebrows preparing to reply. 

“Reb,” James muttered in a confused tone, catching Remus’s attention. “Oh.” James suddenly stuttered. Standing up a bit straighter, a look of recognition flashed through James’s eyes. Shooting Remus a look for a split second before looking away. 

Remus was completely baffled by what just happened.  _ What did the ‘oh’ from James mean? Why was Sirius being so rude? Also, what was Tonks even doing here?  _ Taking a deep breath he was thankful Peter was still being Peter. 

“What kind of name is ‘Tonks’ anyway?” Sirius continued to rant.

“Sirius,” Jame hissed, having noticed Remus' uncomfortableness at the situation. “Stupid, insensitive,” He muttered to himself with a headshake. 

“We need a distraction,” Peter said, as Sirius and Tonks took a step towards each other, fire in their eyes. 

“Professor Firenze confiscated all my flares, do you have anything?” James questioned. 

“No, I left my bag in the…. Oh look it’s Lily!” Peter stopped mid-sentence, “Hi Lily!” He shouted down the corridor waving. The girl in question paused, giving Peter a small wave, as she looked at the scene before her, knotting her eyebrows. 

“Nope,” She replied. Turning on the spot and retreating back down the corridor.

“Lil’s wait for us!” James shouted back. He spun around to face the now silent Sirius and Tonks, James jumped forwards and grabbed Sirius’s arms, “Good luck at the match! We need to go pick up, the… umm... the thing!” James smiled towards Tonks. As he started to drag the now complaining Sirius down the corridor. 

“It was lovely to meet you!” Peter smiled and waved at Tonks as he started to walk backwards following James and Sirius.

“Sooo, that’s the famous Sirius?” Tonk smiled, turning to Remus once the pair were alone.

“How long until the game?” He sighed, releasing this was going to be a long conversation. 

~

Professor Lockhart was halfway through his completely off-topic, self-centred story, having lost most of the students' attention. Even Remus found himself getting distracted. James meanwhile had his constipated face on, it was a look he often had when he couldn’t work out how to do something, mostly speaking to Lily. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” Remus lightly kicked his friend under the table and grabbed his attention. 

James stared at Remus for a few seconds, then turned around shooting a look towards Sirius and Peter’s table, on the other side of the classroom. The pair's attention was completely absent from the lesson, as they muttered between themselves reading their latest comic book.

“You know how Sirius is my brother but not my brother?” James said, turning back to Remus.

“Huh?” Remus was completely lost.

“Sirius Potter, but not Potter Potter,” James moved his hands as he spoke, tilting his head to the side.

“That makes no sense,” Remus replied confused.

“His last name is Potter because he changed it after his family kicked him out.” James continued. 

“They kicked him out?” Remus's eyes went wide. Sirius was always smiling and laughing with such joy it was hard to imagine he had such a negative history behind him. Remus had never really thought about the details of James and Sirius being family, the pair were as close as thieves; it seemed only natural for them to be brothers.

“I shouldn’t have mentioned that. That’s not my story to tell, I shouldn't have said that.” James panic replied. “Please don’t tell him I told you that,” 

Remus nodded in reply, watching the worry fade from James’ eyes. 

“But my point is people change their names,” James continued. “And that's life. The important part is using the new name.” Jame pointed to Remus.

The realisation hit Remus, as he cottoned onto what James had been saying. Remus smiled at James who returned the smile with a nod. Before the pair turned their attention back to Professor Lockhart, when the teacher jumped across the room dramatically reenacting part of his story. 

Remus suddenly felt like he had an ally. While he didn’t know exactly how much James had worked out, he knew James didn’t care and wasn’t fussed. So Remus counted that as a success.

  
  
  


* * *

  1. **The Uninvited guest**



Remus was enjoying his shower, it was his moment to be fully alone, a rare chance when living in a boarding school. Just standing enjoying the water trail over him, Ignoring all the homework and school stress, letting the water wash it away. That was until he heard rattling, turning he watched the lock starting to wobble and undo itself. Pulling himself from the shock, he snapped back to reality and grabbed the door handle, pulling it closed just in time as someone the other side started trying to open it. Remus should have felt mortified at how loud his scream was, however, he was too busy trying to keep the door shut with all his might.

“Occupied!” He found himself shakily calling, his heart nearly deafening him. 

“Come on Moony the hot water will turn off soon!” Sirius pleaded from the other side of the door. 

“Tough, you should have showered earlier,” he called back. With some relief at the fact it was Sirius, but at the same time panicking more because it was Sirius. 

Suddenly the door stopped moving and the room was silent for a split second before more screaming started. Remus flicked the lock back on and checked it several times to make sure it was still locked. 

“Ahh, what are you doing?” An angry voice called from a couple of cubicles down, “Sirius get out that’s my shower!” James shouted above the sound of a scuffle that was echoing around the room. 

“Shouldn’t have been so distracted!” Sirius tried to argue back. 

Remus shook his head, what was wrong with his roommates?. Using the distraction as a chance to quickly wash off the remaining shampoo from his hair. Remus flicked some soap over his body then shut off the shower, half towel-dried himself and pulled on his clothes in record time. His hair still dripping wet, Remus finally let himself relax, feeling safe. His heart was still going a mile a minute. 

Stepping out from the cubicle, he found Peter and James standing by the sink looking suspiciously like they were plotting Sirius’s next downfall, which was confirmed by the look James shot him seconds later. 

~

Even Remus thought James & Peter had outdone themselves this time. He tried to bite back a laugh as he pretended to read his book in bed. The other two, however, weren’t as subtle, lying on the floor laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their faces. Laughing even harder as Sirius stormed out the room towards the shower shouting insults as he went. Covered head to toe in green goo, that had exploded all over his bed, a result from the most recent prank war. Remus wasn’t sure exactly how James got his hand on so much goo in such a short amount of time, but he had learned early on that it wasn’t something to be surprised by. 

Sirius finally returned to the room after lights out, still whining about how evil the group was. Causing Peter and James to burst into more laughing fits. Resulting in Sirius mumbling even more insults as he loudly trudged around the room. The smile fell from Remus’s face as he felt his duvet moving. 

“What are you doing?” He questioned, eyes wide as he sat up, his eyes slowly adjusting to the dark as he watched the dark blob that was Sirius casually climbing into the bed next to him. Grabbing the duvet and holding it close Remus was more than aware that neither were wearing a shirt. 

“You can protect me, Moony, I don’t trust these buggers,” Sirius hummed, as he led down, stealing half of Remus’s pillow. 

“Bu, but,” Remus attempted to argue his brain was not working. All the words swimming around in his head disappeared. Feeling the panic start to rise inside him; He had an incredibly gorgeous god in his bed, and Remus had no idea where this would lead. Logically he knew Sirius wouldn’t do anything, but that did little to stop the worry that filled him. 

“I can hardly sleep in that gloopy bed,” Sirius reasonably pointed out, before rolling onto his side with his back to Remus. Remus let out a breath he was holding, Sirius had a very valid point, however, couldn’t he go sleep with James? They shared a bed often enough. Not to mention James caused this issue.

Suddenly he felt Sirius leaning back and grabbing his hand, before pulling it over his shoulder. It took a while for Remus to realise what Sirius was demanding, and how he wanted Remus to be the big spoon. Slowly laying down, he felt Sirius lifting his hand and resting it under his cheek. Causing Remus to jump.

“You’re freezing,” Remus hissed. Unable to move as Sirius tightened his grip on Remus’s hand. He shuffled as far back as he could, leaving a gap between their bodies, especially with the whisper of cold air currently surrounding Sirius. 

“Well duh, it’s past curfew there's no hot water,” Sirius replied, as he shuffled backwards snuggling towards Remus until their bodies were once more touching. Why was late night Sirius so logical?, Remus once more couldn’t think of a way to argue. His heart slowed back to a regular rhythm, as he ignored the cold feeling and tightening his arm around Sirius, slowly resting his nose on Sirius’s shoulder, glad when the other didn’t comment. He fell asleep easily that night. 

  
  


* * *

  1. **A Cuddle for all**



When Sirius had first informed him of the weekly movie night he should have known that would involve cuddling. This was Sirius after all, the boy acted like he’d shrivel up and die if he didn’t have nearly constant human contact. Remus had been safe for the first month until James had gotten the courage to invite Lily, who surprisingly agreed to join. This had caused James to kick Sirius out his usual spot declaring Lily had to sit next to him or the world would end. Remus was expecting an equally dramatic reply from Sirius, however, was surprised when Sirius merely got up mumbling under his breath and squeezing into the seat next to Remus. 

So months later, here he was, in the middle of watching a Doctor Who episode, slouched in the - Sirius named - grandad chair, with the very man snuggled beside him. It had become their usual arrangement, Sirius under one of Remus’s arms. his head slotted under Remus’s chin, legs loosely dropped across the other, with one hand slid under Remus’s top, resting on his hip. Unlike usual, however, tonight Sirius rolled forwards so he was partially lying on Remus, sliding his hand over Remus’s stomach approaching his chest. The action causing Remus to jump, inhale and hold his breath. Sirius’s hand stopped immediately in response.

"Is this okay?" Sirius whispered, unmoving.

Confusion covered Remus, ‘ _ is what okay? _ ’ crossed his mind. Was Sirius talking about him jumping? Remus hadn’t meant to, however, he had been surprised by the unexpected movement, they had been cuddling during movie night for months now, and Sirius had never gone so far under Remus’ top, so it had caught him off guard. 

Having not reacted or replied, Sirius started to withdraw his hand as he moved off Remus, with a small “Sorry,” Remus barely heard. 

Confusion covered him even more.  _ What happened? _ Remus thought. Tightening the arm around Sirius’s waist, he stopped Sirius from moving away from any more. Remus wanted to clear up what was happening while at the same time not lose the warmth radiating from Sirius, who had paused briefly before sitting up so the pair were at eye level with each other. 

Remus found himself instantly shaking his head, “It’s okay,” He quietly whispered. Their entire surroundings melted away, all his attention drawn to the grey eyes staring back at him. Sirius was searching his face, looking for something however Remus wasn’t sure what exactly. 

“What?” He found himself whispering with a small smile as Sirius continued to stare at him. 

Suddenly, Sirius shook his head, with a small, almost shy smile covering his face as he quickly moved to hide his face. Starting to resume his previous position, resting his head onto Remus’s shoulder, while also tangling their legs together, getting himself comfortable. So he was once more on his stomach lying on top of Remus. Before sliding his hand back under Remus' top again. Remus, who was still slightly baffled at what had just happened, found his answer soon after. He felt Sirius’s hand, continue to rise higher than usual, travelling straight over his stomach then up his chest. Finally coming to a stop resting half over Remus’s shoulder. 

The action had happened too fast, it hadn’t given Remus time to worry about Sirius’s hand travelling past his scars. Expecting some kind of reaction, all he felt was Sirius completely relaxed, as he snuggled even closer to the base of Remus’s neck, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, helping to stop any panic building up inside Remus. 

Moving his arm Remus started to run his thumb up and down Sirius’s arm, resulting in the other boy attempting to snuggle even closer. Getting lost in the repetitive movement he let his mind run. Sirius hadn’t reacted to his scars, had he not felt them? Maybe he missed them? Maybe Sirius wasn’t bothered, Remus still wasn’t entirely sure on Sirius’s stance on transgender people, but he couldn’t picture him being against it. No. Remus couldn’t let himself get too excited, not when the stakes were so high, not when he could lose whatever this was between them. Would Sirius still cuddle him like this once he knew the truth? Mentally slapping himself, he tried to pull his thoughts away from that area. 

The act was made harder as Sirius’s hand started to slowly slide back down Remus’s chest, eventually stopping over his peck. Instantly holding his breath again, Remus waited, surely this was Sirius realising? How was he going to react?. Eventually needing to take a breath, Remus was puzzled as to why Sirius still hadn’t reacted or even moved. Focusing on the other, Remus finally registered Sirius’s slow and even breathing, realising the other had fallen asleep. Taking a deep breath, relief filled Remus, he was safe for now. 

He shot a look around the room, spotting that everyone else was still watching the TV and weren’t paying any attention to them. Grabbing the blanket from beside him, Remus loosely threw it over them as he brought his other arm around to hug Sirius, resting his cheek on his head. Turning his attention to Doctor Who, Remus tried to quiet his worries, embracing the warmth of his current situation. 

  
  
  


* * *

**+1 The Nervousness comes out.**

They were back to their usual Sunday movie marathon when it happened. 

Sirius had set up the TV and turned off the lights before racing across the room and diving on top of Remus in an attempt to not miss anything. Squishing into the seat and getting comfortable, he cuddled closer to Remus, causing Remus to jump and gasp as Sirius' cold hands slid under his top, touching his bare skin. 

"Oi, let’s keep this safe for work you two," James snickered from across the room. 

"Oh like you two were safe for work last Tuesday in the science lab.." Sirius started to mock back.

"Ouch," Sirius' threat was cut off as Remus jumped forwards, grabbing his head and nearly squishing Sirius in the process. 

"Sorry, Remus!" Lily’s worried voice called from across the room.

"No worries, cracking shot Lily" Remus replied, not moving from his cradled positions. Remus had to admit her aim from some distance was spot on, he just wished she'd thrown a lighter book and not the entire encyclopedia of physical health. 

"Don't congratulate her!" Sirius snapped trying to see Remus' head, face full of concern, "Evil witch begone!!! If you’ve permanently hurt my Moony it'll be the end of you!" he threatened, picking up a slipper and throwing it haphazardly back. While the object completely missed them, James jumped up attempting to defend Lily, which resulted in him and Sirius on the floor in a wrestling match. 

Remus made his escape while the pair were distracted. Stopping in the hallway using the light to spot the blood he hoped he'd been imagining. 

"Shit." The word caused him to snap around spotting Lily standing in the doorway frozen. Her face was going pale.

"It's fine, it's fine, honestly," Remus hurried to say, raising his hands in surrender, along with his best ‘it's all fine’ look. Realising seconds later showing her the hand covered in blood probably wasn't the best idea. Especially when the sticky feeling of blood started trickling down his neck. "Head wounds always bleed more, it's fine, honestly, please don't faint." 

"Faint? You think I'm going to faint?" Lily laughed before walking over, shoving a piece of tissue on his head with more force than he thought was necessary. “Come on, I'm taking you to the infirmary,” She said already, marching down the corridor pulling Remus as she went. Remus must remember to find out why a school would need an entire infirmary with enough equipment to stock a hospital. 

~

When he finally escaped from Lily, Remus was glad to find the bedroom empty. Closing the door, his head was still dully hurting. The tablets Madam Pomfrey had given him were effective but making him tired. Pulling off his shirt, he hadn’t realised it had so much blood on it. Remus knew he needed to soak it in water to stop it from staining, but at the same time, he was tired and tempted to just leave it. He could just throw the shirt away or even wear it with the stain. Staring at the shirt and trying to decide what to do, the bang from the door swinging open with great force caused him to jump. Spinning on the spot he could see the blur that was Sirius heading through the door. 

“MOOONY There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Sirius called racing across the room. Out of breath as he bent over resting his hands on his knees. “You disappeared without a word, Then I bump into Alice who says she saw you and Lilly heading to the infirmary! Then I get there to find..” His rant was cut off as his eyes narrowed on Remus’s chest. 

Remus’s currently naked chest.

Realising what Sirius was staring at, Remus grabbed his nightshirt off the bed and quickly scrambled to pull it on, only slightly panicking as he got his head stuck for a few seconds. Ensuring his top was fully down, Remus looked up to find Sirius in the same place he had been before, standing silently staring at Remus, with an expression Remus couldn’t read. He could feel his heart rate increasing, soon feeling like it was causing his body to sway. Remus wasn’t even aware if he was breathing or not, his attention elsewhere. 

Watching Sirius stare at him, his mind whizzing around trying to cover any possibilities and outcomes. Reminding him, just because Sirius hadn’t run yet didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Attempting to scold himself, deep down Remus knew Sirius was above that, however, it didn’t help to dampen the fear inside him that kept growing as the pair stood still. 

Feeling frozen in time, he was unsure of what to do or say. Remus only knew he wanted to break the silence, that was starting to feel like a constricting object surrounding him and overpowering him. Summoning all the courage he could, he was surprised at how even his voice sounded, “I’m trans.” He knew Sirius knew, however, he wanted to breach the topic, unable to stand the thought of spending any more time unaware of how his friend would react. 

“Okay.” Sirius nodded, his face un-reacting, as he continued to stand and watch Remus. 

Remus felt his heart start to fall, ‘Okay’ that was all Sirius was going to say? Without any emotion? Without a hint of what he was thinking?. Scanning Sirius’s face, providing him with no answers., Remus could feel his hurt transfer onto his face, however, felt numb to stop it.

Within seconds a look flashed over Sirius’s face, as his eyes went wide, lifting his hands. “Wait, shit, no, no, that was the worst thing I could say,” suddenly fell from Sirius’s mouth, the words starting to crash together as Sirius tripped over his own tongue trying to speak quickly, “Okay, so not the worst, worst thing I could say, but a bad thing. I didn’t mean to, cause, but, I was waiting for you to continue, you know so you can get everything off your chest,” pausing, “No, not a joke time, but you were supposed to continue but you didn’t continue so it was silent and then….” 

Biting back a smile, Remus felt his shoulders dropping as the tense atmosphere he had created for himself started to crack and disappear the longer Sirius rambled. Any worry or stress from how Sirius was going to react melted away, reminding him this was Sirius and how ill-founded his worries were. Especially as he continued to listen to the rambled speech it was as if the delay from being silent for so long before had caused a built-up of words, leading to a disorganised explosion. Remus had never seen him like this and he almost wanted to laugh. That was until something hit him. The complete and utter lack of surprise from Sirius. Quickly repeating everything the other had said or done, there hadn’t been a single hint that this was new information.

“You knew?” Remus questions, as he snapped back to reality with the newfound information buzzing in his head. 

Sirius finally stopped speaking, standing in silence for a few seconds as Remus studied him. “Yeah kinda,” Sirius quietly replied, rubbing back of his neck, “I didn’t wanna steal your thunder, or you know, make this all about me….” The honesty in his tone was a vulnerability Remus hardly ever saw in Sirius.

“Why do you sound like the scared person in this situation? I’m supposed to be terrified of your reaction.” Remus pointed out.

Sirius’s head snapped up, his eyes going wide looking at Remus. “Terrified? Why terrified?” Understanding covering his face as he realised Remus' words, “No no no, I wouldn’t! I made it obvious I know and made it easy for you to come out...” the words slowly dying on his tongue. 

“What?” Remus was unable to speak, all the information swirling around inside his head. 

“I left loads of clues to let you know I'd accept you if you came out,” Sirius said letting his words trail off. 

“Clues? What clues?!!?” Remus said, confused.

“Well, the entire pan conversation to start off with!” Sirius waved his arms around. 

“What pan conversion?” Remus’s confusion was only building. 

“You know the whole I’m round and straight like a frying pan! Then leading on to accepting all kitchen utensils,” Sirius explained, staring at Remus waiting for him to reply.

Remus knotted his eyebrows together, none of this was ringing any bells. “What?” was all his could say, 

“You know the webcomic I showed you!” Sirius prodded, continuing to stare at Remus’s blank expression, before realization covered his face “Maybe I just daydreamed it, well I meant to show you! I replayed it in my mind and worked out the exact phrases and everything!” Sirius rambled, starting to go quiet, “Basically I’m trying to say I'm LGBTQ and fully accepting of all the letters.” 

“Sirius, you are such a clever person why are you so stupid?” Remus shook his head, trying to understand the situation.

“Because I’m crazy for you Remus!” Sirius whispered looking at the floor before snapping his head up. "Wait a minute, is that a Good Omens quote?" he questioned excitedly. 

“Ignore that, what do you mean you're crazy about me?” Remus’s eyes went wide at the idea. 

“Good Omens is such a good show, we should watch it again,” Sirius continued trying to move the subject on. 

As Remus froze unsure what else to say or do. The realisation of the pan conversation hitting him,  _ Did Sirius just come out to me? _ flashed through Remus’s mind. 

“SHE SAID YESSSSSSSSSSSSS,” James screamed as he stormed into the room through the still open door causing the pair to jump. “Seriously! Said it! to me!” He started to ramble. 

Sirius seemed to have caught Remus’s frozen status, as the pair stood staring at each other. Sirius’s face for once was completely natural and vulnerable, not covered in his usual go lucky mask. 

“Guys, this is huge! Massive!” James bounced over, gripping either forearms and shaking them.

Sirius finally turned, looked away from Remus, as Remus wondered if that was a faint blush over his cheeks or if he was seeing wrong. 

“LILY!” James shouted when Sirius turned to face him, “She said yes!!, Lily! I asked her and she said yesss,” he continued to shake the pair as he jumped with joy.

“That’s amazing Prongs,” Sirius finally replied, snapping back to the moment, replacing his expression with a huge face splitting smile. As he started to jump as well. 

While James continued to ramble away. Remus made brief eye contact with Sirius, who gave a small smile before continuing to bounce around with James, his cheeks burning red, a definite confirmation it was a blush Remus saw earlier. 

Remus bit back a smile, as he pulled his sleeves down to distract himself. Sirius not only knew, but he accepted him. Sirius completely accepted him, after the months of worry and panic it was all gone. Remus sighed, as while that weight had been lifted from his shoulders, it had been replaced with the weight of new possibilities. 

Smiling he stepped forwards, joining the others in celebration. 


End file.
